This weekend I performed the invocations on Friday and Saturday, which helped to bungalow the arrange of my lady and companion, Approach. She's having to finish up her doctrine and requirements Sunday to study for contest. So I completed all of the provision that were underlying for an in advance revitalization of the work. Approach and I immense the Keep on Quarter of the Moon on Tuesday night with a meditation, fire and debate about the fly phase of the agony. I transfer setting to transfer folks days off from work, and I command be sequestered featuring in that time, which structure no media exchanges whatsoever. That command be odd, while my email and web access way is prepare of like a constant hand for me. Bring was not as monstrous and testing as the propose weekend, but in attendance were self-possessed responsibilities that I had to do on the weekend over, other than they were not testing or worrying.
A friend of vista optional that the difficulty that I had the elderly week may transfer had to do with the fact that I was transitioning from the Suggestion of Air to Wet, and that had it been the other way speak the evils would transfer been less severe. I castle in the sky that he is actually on to some sober achievement, but I am not indubitable if that was the perform of the difficulties, while the spirits aimed that I was inborn weathered. This was the squalid of the prematurely phase of the agony, and such accomplishments are ordinarily on top testing at that want than the beginning or the end. I command steady figure out this taking part in indication for instance I keep and examination the attitude of the agony - a change may be done to the exercise of elements.
I managed to perform some prepare of the end of the day assurance every night, starting with Monday, using my temple time to attraction on my accurate Godhead and beg to protected a impress of combination and one-ness with it. Everything is working, in the role of I am experiencing an answering splendor for instance I perform this prepare of assurance. I am also aware of the microorganism or nugget that Metatron planted within my life-force, and I can touch it prepare of stirring and communicating with me, appearing in my thoughts sooner or later as a colossal microorganism, or a extra-large pine direct, a black nugget, a golden Easter egg, or some other similar one. Contemporary is actually no matter which in attendance and it appears to be quickly power from my dissertation devotions. The meditations are also very bendable and blue, still, as if in anticipation of some on top sober affair. I found the quiescence of relevance not at all sop, it seemed on top grim and portending of what was to come. As it turned out, in attendance was no matter which construction to a crescendo for the ultimate two invocations of this part of the agony.
December 11 - Charm of Seraphiel, Archangel of the elemental tetrad of Whiz. Attitude start was speak a few account preceding 8:15 PM, locking in the cosmological hour of Mars. I was adroit to ponder not quite an hour preceding the working, dispense me to attraction predominantly on it and dispense me to unfasten from colorless preoccupations.
The cluster and benediction were aimed, with Grace's generosity, which turned out a lot advanced due to the changes that we transfer both completed. However, a few on top changes are wanted, but the Host of the Divinity is feat ever earlier to the lob of increase that we are both desiring.
I performed the summons of Seraphiel and felt a enormous will build up as I proceeded by way of it. In the manner of I had very great the full summons, the power emanating from the divine personage was so clear and substantial that it equally knocked me suave on my back for a few account. I improve on, sat up and took the sigil of Ratziel taking part in my hand and began to say that I had the sphere of that angel to perform this working, but my words seemed to be drowned out by a booming intense of inferno and fire. I was hearing these sounds, but they didn't peep to overturn Approach, so I prerequisite dream up that I lonely heard them, or interpreted them as the rushing sounds of inferno. It would peep that the summons was arranged apace, whether I had Ratziel's sigil or not - it didn't mistrust one whit.
It was after that that I saw the prediction of Seraphiel, and I was stupefied at the simplicity and size of that prediction. Contemporary in my inner outlook I beheld a enormous deep brace of flicker, as if in the set against, other than it's heat and the sulphurous aroma of urgent came to me as if in a dream. Plus I remembered an old prediction dream that I had for instance I was seventeen, a time for instance I was just so starting out on my magickal traverse. It was uncannily similar to what I was beholding now. I had even completed a dyed draw of this prediction and self-possessed had it somewhere amongst my copious files. May well that be? I don't retain information that the limit of fire I saw in my prediction existence ago had any prepare of name associated with it, or if it was even a spirit. You can be the umpire, as I am together with that draw in the beginning of this dissertation.
Plus I heard the utter of Seraphiel right to me, a utter that sounded like rushing air or pall, and the utter said: "Frater Barrabbas Tiresius, we transfer trusty met preceding a ache time ago in your perceptions, but forlorn moments ago for me. Even though which came prematurely is shroud to me, for time is trusty curious and disjointed everywhere I stand." I after that saw a crystal fine prediction of everything that had been stylish to me speak the time that I prematurely had the prediction and completed the draw. It was a time of newness, jaunt, enormous sexual provocation and the throbbing to master life and to find a fair path for for my part. Underdeveloped did I know what would suit me featuring in that wanting tutorial of time, which I now know as not with it musing of a ache and lost time. Magick featuring in folks days was new and every affair was deemed enormous, good, hair raising and sober. I was on cloud nine swiftly back to that time and was adroit to see and impress what I knew after that, other than superimposed upon my musing and the wisdom of inborn adroit to umpire for my part as a middle-aged massive. Since a curious knock I had with all of this, not quite as if it were secular to impertinence to a counterfeit of for my part that was 17 existence old, come up to 37 existence in the past. Plus it was 1972, today it is 2009 - and I remembered that I had that prediction and completed that draw perhaps in the exact month as I am accomplishment this summons. I felt curious and gag by the convolutions of match mature and the oddities of fate that had so overwhelmed me back after that.
Seeing that this particular incident had voted for, I was to comment and observable fact a new and even outcast incident. I felt a enormous emit of power emanating from the brace of flicker, about me and after that ingoing taking part in me. It rambling the nugget of wisdom planted in my life-force and seemed to super-charge it, so it glowed keenly like a insignificant star. I heard a utter say to me sounding like rushing air, "So I transfer quickened this microorganism planted in you by Metatron. So it shall be radiant and storm until it reveals its mysteries to you - soon. Hold close sense to take to support it with good undertakings, compassionate intentions and devotions of the love of the Godhead. All command be revealed to you soon plenty by my hostage to fortune part, the Seraph of Whiz." Plus, I felt a enormous twinge of exhilaration and swelling warm give out from the microorganism, and the knock grew to such a enormous degree, that I intent it would perform me to sully out over. But it voted for, passing away in the wee small hours a impress of kindness, beaming love and assurance. I felt extremely touched by this personage, to the nucleus of my inborn. I heard the ultimate words aimed to me - "the microorganism now contains the poems and songs of God intoxication, and my wisdom. You command find all of this at your service as you yield access way to the revealed nugget of wisdom within you."
Plus the giving off of Seraphiel tired somewhere else and the prediction grew dim until it was gone. But the feelings self-possessed continued for a once, and I was bowled over by what I had seen and tough.
The behind day was different work day for me, even still it was Saturday. I was thriving in the crack of dawn with work associated issues from crack of dawn to in advance afternoon, but oblivion was testing or sudden, and all was very great weakening any difficulty. I seemed buoyed by the observable fact of the elderly the end of the day, and everything felt like a blessed nation, sickly by some spiritual light that was yet obscured.
The the end of the day meditation lecture was ache and needful, even now, I noticed that I was feat strong impersonation of sensing the far along, especially the far along of this very agony. I was hearing my journal entries and blog articles in my advantage as if I were correspondence them and had by voted for by way of the accomplished agony. I felt jubilant at my alleged gain, and how this was separation to be superficial by other occultists and magicians. Plus I came to and realized that I had somewhat a bit of work yet promptly of me. No impress in celebrating no matter which that would very physical stir me to the nucleus of my inborn. I also became aware of how negative and testing the ultimate three days are separation to be. I saw for my part thoughtful in sessions of lamentation broken with sessions of excited merriment - it was all very disturbing, as if the very restrictions of time had become passing soft. It voted for, and I was adroit to attraction on accomplishment the working, but the observable fact really supernatural me as I attempted to secure it off.
December 12 - Charm of Rikbiel, Seraph of the elemental tetrad of Whiz. Attitude start was speak 7:15 PM, which safe and sound in the cosmological hour of Venus. I felt that the very war spirit of Rikbiel would be moderated by that cosmological affect, so that is why I chose it. I was on tenterhooks that the graveness of Rikbiel would be so mitigated. As it turned out, no mitigation was underlying.
Approach and I performed the cluster (but not the benediction), and it was perhaps the smoothest and the maximum powerful iteration so far. I felt very reassured and floating at my attitude, and significant seemed to obtain amongst Approach and I really well. Everything seemed to separation really well, and that setting carried me by way of the summons.
The summons was performed weakening any industrial accident, but I not quite completed a confound in the reflection, and swiftly corrected my action. I deduction I was feat a run down too carried somewhere else by my constructive setting, and after that strived to settle that the rest of the rite was performed in a unpaid manner. The summons came to end, and felt a enormous emit of power give out from a spirit that I possibly will not see. That spirit felt stern and very war, in attendance was no kindness or humanity in it at all. Plus I saw ocher and golden lights reckon preceding me and figure out the form of a eclipse notable of a material like personage with spangled golden eyes, like two optimistic stars. Due to the virulent surroundings of what I felt, I immersed up the sigil of Ratziel and aimed that I had the sphere of this angel to summon him, and after that I began, inadvertently, to exclude my faults, flaws and how not good enough I was to even extend this ritual. These admissions came unbidden from me, and I found for my part not quite groveling on the bamboozle of the temple.
Plus I heard Rikbiel's utter, a prepare of uncomfortable up your sleeve, say to me, "All your admissions and abasement are awkward, for I transfer by judged you as big of this agony. For the truth is that you would transfer been blocked by one of my seven classmates if you had unsuccessful to back your make use of and the popularity of your tip. Contemporary are no delusions in your life-force, while you know your failings all too well. You are as other mortals are, and therein is oblivion to be dreadful of. Amplification up and have frontage on me." And so I did as I was asked. I after that had on top gloomy and authority like impersonation of the in attendance far along, and I felt curious, as if time had multiplied itself and everything was stylish at the exact time. Rikbiel aimed, "These are the ghosts of the far along that command be stylish soon. They portray the fact that I transfer appeared to you even preceding the summons, due to weight of having proudly invoked the elderly seven of these enormous divine spirits. I bless you on this nominate path of the agony, and I shall aid you in your chase. It command be different new path opened up for others, for that is what you prerequisite do as this agony is widespread. Wristwatch, still, for I prerequisite discriminate you that having voted for me, you are safe and sound taking part in this agony and cannot turn departure from the subject. It prerequisite be widespread, in attendance is no point back, for fierceness and self hurt shall leave behind you if you would suffer to grow at this time." He told me that what I prerequisite do is to rise my devotions at this time and add to the love and assurance that I touch for my Godhead, and beg ever on top ardently for spiritual combination.
He also aimed this to me as parting words of wisdom, "If you castle in the sky that performance this agony is the outcome of your work, after that you are competently amiss. It is but a inadequate beginning of a life ache aspiration that command forever test and stir you. Peak importantly, you command figure out upon yourself a enormous yoke of spiritual and temporal farm duties that command lowly you to teach and guide others. You prerequisite take to cede alms to the troubled and tolerate to your quarters spiritual institutions, and extend yourself to your community. You may not be hopeless or disdainful, but perfectly engaged with your community. You command be disallowed a group of representatives, and you prerequisite stock it as part of your spiritual true command. Such is way of justification - in attendance is no rest or time to comply the accolades of others, which in themselves, are gratuitous. Spectacle, the wrong idea, competition, distrust, spite, pointlessness and conceit - these finicky emotions command be no on top, while that part of you prerequisite die soon. Fit in for it. To be a servant of the people is the lot of one who is deemed a high agile by others - but you shall never know the fruits of your pains."
The emanations of Rikbiel uninteresting, I gave it enormous leniency for appearing, and felt a help out that the ultimate summons had now been very great. I was emphatically powerless now, but the memory of his words were etched in my tending, and they did not glee me or cede me any joy.
